Mother-in-law Jokes / Recent Jokes
A bloke, his wife and his mother-in-law went on a two-week holiday. After a couple of days the mother-in-law went missing. They reported it to the police, and after another couple of days the local sergeant called the bloke.
"I've got bad news for you, mate," said the cop. "I've found your mother-in-law in a creek with 12 mud crabs hanging off her!"
"That's terrible," said the bloke. "What am I gonna do?"
"Well," said the cop, "how about you take six, I'll take six and we'll set her again tonight?"
Copyright Jokes for Blokes
George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation, and while they were visiting Jerusalem, George's mother-in-law died.
With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law, told George, "My friend, the sending of a body back to the States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000 dollars." The Consul continued, "In most of these cases, the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150 dollars".
George thinks for some time, and answers the Consul, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back. That's what I want to do."
The Consul, after hearing this says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much, more...
Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family.
Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to recieve 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn't want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled.
Mrs. Mueller is first.
"What do you wish for yourself?"
"I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings."
"Okay, that shall be granted to you."
Mrs. Mueller has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few more...
Why do they bury mothers-in-law 18 feet down, when everyone else is buried 6 feet down?
- Because, deep down, they really are very nice people.
A man finds a lamp and decides to rub the dust off. Then, you guessed it, a Genie appears. The Genie tells the man he will grant him three wishes, but everything the man gets, his mother-in-law gets twice.
The man's first wish is for 10 million dollars. The Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get 20 million dollars.
The man says, "that's ok."
The man's next wish is for a house by the sea.
Once again, the Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get two houses by the sea; once again, the man says, "that's okay."
The man's last wish is to be beaten half to death!
A constantly nagged and harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year Christmas came again and this year he didn't buy her any gift.
Mother-in-law was upset and asked the son-in-law why was she forgotten this time.
The angry son-in-law responded, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
BHAGWAN, give me a bahu who is hardÂworking, respectful and one who will look after me in my old age, so that I do not have to face hardships of the kind my mother-in-law had to face.'