Motoring Jokes

1. Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to inquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Center."
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours."
2. Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone plug-in point on the wall."
3. Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: "Doesn't the product name give you a more...

The abolition of Euro trade barriers in 1996 meant that many cars will now be of German origin. To this end the following list of German motoring phrases:

1) Die BlinkenLeiten Tickentocken = Signal Indicators

2) Pullknob und KnuckleChoppen = Auto Hood (Bonnet)

3) Der Spitzenpoppenbangentuben = Exhaust

4) Das Kulink mit Schlippenundshaken = Clutch

5) Der Phlatt mit Bloody fukken = Puncture

6) Der Twatten mit Elplatz = Learner driver

7) Das Bagsaroomfurshagginkin = Estate car

8) Der Flippenflappenschitspreader = Windshield wipers

9) Der Klunkenklinkenfrauleinstrappen = Seat belt

10) Das Buch fur Aresewipen = Highway Code

11) Die Dippenuntdazzel Eiblinden = Headlights

12) Der Pedalpuschinpilloken = Cyclist

13) Der Fukkengratentrucken = Truck

14) Der Bananwaltzen = Skid

15) Dast Fukkennearenschitzenselfen = Near accident