Mit Jokes

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- A team of MIT physicists announced Monday that they have successfully split the smithereen, heretofore considered the smallest possible unit of matter. "For decades, conventional scientific wisdom held that the most to which you could blow something was smithereens," Dr. Jonathan Eng said. "It now appears that it is possible, under certain special laboratory conditions, to blow something to sub-smithereens."

Eng said he believes the discovery will revolutionize humanity's potential for harnessing smithereenetic energy.

The abolition of Euro trade barriers in 1996 meant that many cars will now be of German origin. To this end the following list of German motoring phrases:

1) Die BlinkenLeiten Tickentocken = Signal Indicators

2) Pullknob und KnuckleChoppen = Auto Hood (Bonnet)

3) Der Spitzenpoppenbangentuben = Exhaust

4) Das Kulink mit Schlippenundshaken = Clutch

5) Der Phlatt mit Bloody fukken = Puncture

6) Der Twatten mit Elplatz = Learner driver

7) Das Bagsaroomfurshagginkin = Estate car

8) Der Flippenflappenschitspreader = Windshield wipers

9) Der Klunkenklinkenfrauleinstrappen = Seat belt

10) Das Buch fur Aresewipen = Highway Code

11) Die Dippenuntdazzel Eiblinden = Headlights

12) Der Pedalpuschinpilloken = Cyclist

13) Der Fukkengratentrucken = Truck

14) Der Bananwaltzen = Skid

15) Dast Fukkennearenschitzenselfen = Near accident

Four Guys, From Harvard, Yale, Mit And Santa Singh From Punjab University Were To Be Interviewed For A Prestigious Job. One Common Question Was Asked To All 4 Of Them.

Interviewer: Which Is The Fastest Thing In The World?
1. Yale Guy: Its Light, Nothing Can Travel Faster Than Light.
2. Harvard Guy: It's The Thought; b'cos Thought Is So Fast It Comes Instantly In Your Mind.
3. Mit Guy: Its Blink, You Can Blink And Its Hard To Realize You Blinked
4. Santa Singh: Its Loose Motion
Interviewer: (Shocked To Hear Santa's Reply, Asked) "Why"?
Santa Singh: Last Night After Dinner, I Was Lying In My Bed And I Got The Worst Stomach Cramps, And Before I Could Think, Blink, Or Turn On The Lights, It Was Over!!!!

The Interviewer Then Told Santa Singh To Wear Red Coloured Shorts During Such Situations.

Santa Was Confused; He Asked "Red Shorts? ?? How Does It Help"

The Interviewer Told "Dont You Know more...

Four guys, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT University and Udurawana from Sri Lanka University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job.
One common question was asked to all of them.
INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?
YALE Guy: It is Light, nothing can travel faster than Light.
HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind.
MIT Guy: Its Blink, you can blink and it's hard to realize you blinked
Udurawana: Its Loose Motion
INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Udurawana's reply) "WHY"?
Udurawana: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over! !

Four guys, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT university and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common
question was asked to all 4 of them.
INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD? YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light HARVARD Guy: It`s the Thought; b`cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind. MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa`s reply, asked) "WHY"? SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the
worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK,
or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!! bolo tarara.....