Mummy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy points to it and says, "Mummy, what is that long thing?" His mother replies, "That son, is the elephant's trunk." "No, at the other end." "That son is the tail." "No, mummy, the thing under the elephant." A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, "Thats nothing." The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question. "Daddy, what is that long thing?" "That's the trunk, son" replies the father. "No at the other end." "Oh, that is the tail." "No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation. "That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son?" "Well mummy said it was more...

The assistant curator of the musuem came to the head curator with a couple of problems. "Sir, the mummy is damp and getting mouldy. And the white mouse in the maze exhibit has developed dry skin."
The head curator thought for a minute, then advised, "Put your mummy where your mouse is."

Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy points to it and says, "Mummy, what is that long thing?"
His mother replies, "That son, is the elephant's trunk." "No, at the other end." "That son is the tail." "No, mummy, the thing under the elephant." A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, "Thats nothing."
The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question. "Daddy, what is that long thing?"
"That's the trunk, son" replies the father. "No at the other end." "Oh, that is the tail." "No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation. "That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son?" "Well mummy said it was more...

Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy points to it and says, "Mummy, what is that long thing?"
His mother replies, "That son, is the elephant's trunk."
"No, at the other end."
"That son is the tail."
"No, mummy, the thing under the elephant."
A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, "Thats nothing."
The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question. "Daddy, what is that long thing?"
"That's the trunk, son" replies the father.
"No at the other end."
"Oh, that is the tail."
"No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation.
"That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask more...

A little blond girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! It's good, innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blond?"

"Yes darling, it's because you're blond."

Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K! It's good "innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"

"Yes darling it's because you're blond.

Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her more...

Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. Sothey set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually theyend up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at theelephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, "Mummy, whatis that long thing?" His mother replies, "That, son, is the elephant's trunk." "No, at the other end." "That, son is the tail." "No, mummy, the thing under the elephant." A short embarrassed silence after which she replies,"That's nothing." The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not beingsatisfied with her answer, asks his father the same question." Daddy, what is that long thing?" "That's the trunk, son," replies the father." No at the other end." "Oh, that is the tail." "No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation. "That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son?" "Well mummy said it was more...

Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. Sothey set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually theyend up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at theelephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, "Mummy, whatis that long thing?" His mother replies, "That, son, is the elephant's trunk." "No, at the other end.""That, son is the tail." "No, mummy, the thing under the elephant." A short embarrassed silence after which she replies,"That's nothing." The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not beingsatisfied with her answer, asks his father the same question."Daddy, what is that long thing?" "That's the trunk, son," replies the father."No at the other end." "Oh, that is the tail." "No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation. "That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son?" "Well mummy said it was nothing," more...