Mummy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch Doll? Be quiet and finish your coleslaw!

A man and woman are having sex on the bed when their daughter walks in...What are you doing on top of daddy mummy?... Oh, Im flattening his stomach love... The little girl smiles at her mum before saying...Oh mummy, I wouldnt bother. The au pair will just come and blow him back up tomorrow.

Day1: A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "yes dear" Day 2: "We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "yes dear" Day 3: "We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I'm a 36DD. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "No dear, it's because your 25.

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled. "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank more...

Son: Mummy Mummy I Am Going For Swimming? Mummy: No Son It Is To Cold Son: Mummy I Am Wearing A Sweater

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural- history museum.

"I've just discovered a 3, 000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.

To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"

"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said,' 10, 000 Shekels on Goliath'."

Day1:
A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum, ”We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy? ”
Mum replies: “yes dear”
Day 2:
“We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy? ”
Mum replies: “yes dear”
Day 3:
“We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I’m a 36DD. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy? ”
Mum replies: “No dear, it’s because your 25.