Muscles Jokes

Q.) What do you ask a kid wearing a muscle shirt
but has no muscles?
A.) Did you leave your muscles in your other muscle shirt?

Humour: What's A Kiss?
Everything you wanted to know about a kiss; -
Definition of A Kiss:

Professors of different subjects define the same word different
ways.
Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between two
straight lines.
Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the
expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry: Kiss is the reaction of the interaction
between two hearts.
Prof. of Zoology: Kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary
bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology: Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis
oris muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry: Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when
returned.
Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand is
higher than the supply.
Prof. of Statistics: Kiss is an more...

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and fewer still to ignore someone completely.

There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection.
After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and and goes to the doctor. The
doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis.
"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says. "The bad news is that the
muscles around your penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure."
The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure.
"So what's the good news?" he asks.
The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no
guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into
your penis. Would you like to try it?"
The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life
without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's
do it."
So the doctor more...

Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my penis erected. Can you help me?"
After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you, except, if you're willing to try an experimental treatment."
Jack asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis." Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it." A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city.
In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his more...