"What's A Kiss?" joke

Humour: What's A Kiss?
Everything you wanted to know about a kiss; -
Definition of A Kiss:

Professors of different subjects define the same word different
ways.
Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between two
straight lines.
Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the
expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry: Kiss is the reaction of the interaction
between two hearts.
Prof. of Zoology: Kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary
bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology: Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis
oris muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry: Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when
returned.
Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand is
higher than the supply.
Prof. of Statistics: Kiss is an event whose probability depends on
the vital statistics of 36-24-36
Prof. of Philosophy: Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy
for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of English: Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction;
it is more common than proper; it is spoken in
the plural and it is applicable to all
Prof. of Engineering What is a Kiss?
"A Kiss is that you cannot give without taking, and cannot
take without giving. It is a course of procedure cunningly
devised for the mutual stoppage of speech for a moment when words
are superfluous. It is lip-service to love and the anatomical
juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in a state of
contraction.
A Kiss is a peculiar proposition. Of no use to one, yet
absolute bliss to two. The small boy gets it for nothing, the young
man has to steal it, and the old man has to buy it. It is the
baby's right, the lover's privilege, and the hypocrite's mask. To
young girl, faith; married woman, hope; old maid, charity. A Kiss
can be a comma, quotation mark or an exclamation point. It is also
a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one."
A Kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.
Kissing a pretty girl is like opening a bottle of olives. After
the first one the rest come easy.
"Am I the first girl you ever Kissed? "
"Might be -- your face looks familiar."
----------------------------

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...

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Audrey Greyson was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only relief Audrey got from her chores was the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women. The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that Audrey loved to more...

2
0

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...

36
12

There was an ambulance with its siren on that was rushing to the hospital that passed by a tenement. After they passed the tenement, they saw a Samoan man running quickly to the ambulance. The drivers were questioned by his presence behind them so they stopped the ambulance and more...

34
14

A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

75
17
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