"What's A Kiss?" joke

Humour: What's A Kiss?
Everything you wanted to know about a kiss; -
Definition of A Kiss:

Professors of different subjects define the same word different
ways.
Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between two
straight lines.
Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the
expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry: Kiss is the reaction of the interaction
between two hearts.
Prof. of Zoology: Kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary
bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology: Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis
oris muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry: Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when
returned.
Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand is
higher than the supply.
Prof. of Statistics: Kiss is an event whose probability depends on
the vital statistics of 36-24-36
Prof. of Philosophy: Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy
for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of English: Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction;
it is more common than proper; it is spoken in
the plural and it is applicable to all
Prof. of Engineering What is a Kiss?
"A Kiss is that you cannot give without taking, and cannot
take without giving. It is a course of procedure cunningly
devised for the mutual stoppage of speech for a moment when words
are superfluous. It is lip-service to love and the anatomical
juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in a state of
contraction.
A Kiss is a peculiar proposition. Of no use to one, yet
absolute bliss to two. The small boy gets it for nothing, the young
man has to steal it, and the old man has to buy it. It is the
baby's right, the lover's privilege, and the hypocrite's mask. To
young girl, faith; married woman, hope; old maid, charity. A Kiss
can be a comma, quotation mark or an exclamation point. It is also
a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one."
A Kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.
Kissing a pretty girl is like opening a bottle of olives. After
the first one the rest come easy.
"Am I the first girl you ever Kissed? "
"Might be -- your face looks familiar."
----------------------------

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.

First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...

33
14

2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...

20
0

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...

4
4

Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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