Muscular Jokes / Recent Jokes

A big, strong man walks in a bar, and looks for his usual seat. He finds that there is a little man already sitting there, so asks him to move.
The little man refuses to get up, so the muscular man punches him and says, "That was a punch from Korea." The little man gets up and sits down again, so the muscular man kicks him and says, "That was a kick from China." The little man gets up one more time and sits down again, so the muscular man spin kicks him and says, "That was a spin kick from Japan." The little guy gives up and leaves.
30 minutes later the, the little man comes back. He finds that the big man who had beat him up was still there. So he walks up to him and hits him hard in the head. The muscular man is knocked out in the floor, so the little man tells the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.

"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.

POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, "You now have 3 wishes." I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger."

She nodded, whispered a spell, more...

A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

Realising that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "He's probably golfing with his friends."

A large, muscular guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are kissing in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She smiles.
The man then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!"
Finally, he drops his boxers, and after a quick glance, she grabs her handbag and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

A guy is in the pub toilet having a piss when the door to the bathroom opens. In walks a very large, very muscular guy. This guy proceeds to pull down his pants, revealing a very large penis.
To the man's amazement, the muscular guy growls and slams his penis into the sink attached to the wall. It shatters, spraying pieces and water everywhere. Next, the muscular man growls louder, and slams his penis into one of the stalls, making the entire thing collapse. Then he slams his penis into the wall of the room, knocking a very large hole into it.
The muscular man approaches the scared guy having a piss.
"Hey, mate, do you see this very large, very strong cock?" he asks.
"Yes," replies the guy taking a leak.
"Do you know what I am going to do with this very large, very strong cock?" the muscular man asks.
"No, I'm afraid I don't," says the first man.
"I'm going to shove it up your arse!" exclaims the muscular more...