Music Jokes / Recent Jokes

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." - Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" - David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." - A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" - H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." - Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The more...

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back!""No need to panic," said a fellow bassist, "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion."Well, of course," said her companion, "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the more...

Q: What do you call a drummer who has just broken up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

1st man: "My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three oclock this morning!"2nd man: "Did they wake you?"1st man: "Nah.... I was up playing my bagpipes."

Scientists announced Monday that they have developed a t-shirt that turns the strumming of an air guitar into music. An engineer on the project says, “It’s an easy-to-use, virtual instrument that allows real-time music making even by players without musical skills.”
The company also revealed that they could be certain of this because the device had first been tested on Kevin Federline.

- You wonder why singers Sting and Bryan Adams stole wrestlers'names.- You only come out of your room if your theme music is playing.- You go to court dressed like Goldust.- When your boss is pissing you off you kick him and give him a stunner.- You always end a speech with, "That's the bottom line 'cuz John said so!" or "If you smellllll what John is cooking!"- You wonder why DX's theme music never made the Top 100.- You continue to shove a sock down the throat of your brother-in-law.- If there's one beer left you suggest it should be suspended from the ceiling and the winner has to climb a stepladder to get it.- You give everyone high fives when you walk down a hall.- Whenever you see someone lying on the floor you get the urge to put him in the sharpshooter.- You are not from the U.S but you live there and keep insulting every American you see.- You offer someone money to burn the flag.- You think that Diesel and Kevin Nash look alike.

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously
considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently
of no value to us."
-Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
-Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of
science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
-Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates, 1981
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked
with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is
a fad that won't last out the year."
-The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall,
1957
"But what... is it good for?"
-Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM,
1968, commenting on the microchip.
"There is no more...