Muslim Jokes / Recent Jokes

While this is not comedy, per se, it should be noted that some sick humor can be found in the furor in the Islamic world regarding Pope Benny’s decision to publicly repeat comments made by a Byzantine emperor’s notion of the violence inherent to Islam and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad.

From this joker’s perspective, I would offer the following observations:

1. When freedom of religion and the right for open assemblies of non-Muslim religious gatherings can be commonplace in the Islamic world, then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.
2. When Muslim terrorists stop bombing churches in Iraq and stop harassing Iraqi Christians seeking the free exercise of their faith (particularly women), then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.
3. When the governments of predominantly Islamic nations cease their policies of persecution of non-Muslim faiths (most notably Iran’s campaigns against its Baha’i population and the state-sanctioned violence against more...

The following is a verbatim quote of the opening paragraphs of a
(serious) article on the effect that Salman Rushdie's book "The
Satanic Verses" is having on Britain's Muslim community. The article
is by Jack O'Sullivan, and appeared in The Independent, a UK "quality"
national newspaper, on 5 Jan 1990.
A joke going around Bradford concerns two Muslims chatting in a halal
shop. The first says he has decided to take the Government's advice to
integrate and be like the British. "Oh yes," replies his friend. "And
how will you do that?"
"I'm going to take my secretary to Paris for a dirty weekend," the
first man says.
"But you don't have a secretary," the friend points out.
"That doesn't matter," says the first. "I'll take my wife and say
she's my secretary."

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim were having a discussion about who was the most religious." I was riding my camel in the middle of the Sahara," exclaimed the Muslim. Suddenly a fierce sandstorm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as I lay next to my camel while we being buried deeper and deeper under the sand. But I did not lose my faith in the Almighty Allah, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for a hundred metres all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Muslim and am now learning to recite the Koran by memory." "One day while fishing," started the Christian," I was in my little dinghy in the middle of the ocean. Suddenly a fierce storm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as my little dinghy was tossed up and down in the rough ocean. But I did not lose my faith in Jesus Christ, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 300 metres all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout more...

An expert stated that one of the reasons there are so few Muslim extremist suicide bombers who are female, is because when they explode they would be exposing their skin, which goes against policy.
(The policy, of course, is in effect to prevent males from becoming sexually aroused or attracted by the skin.)
So the worry is that men might be attracted to blown-up chunks of exploding Muslim women.
e.g. "I gotta get me a piece of that!"
Talk about getting "some."

Two journalists kidnapped by a Palestinian terror group have been freed. Initially, the group had demanded that the U.S. release every Muslim prisoner in its custody. The terrorists changed their plans after learning that most Muslim prisoners in the U.S. are black.

Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven."
The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"
St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?"
The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"
St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"
The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"
St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"
So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried more...

Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven."The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?"The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried him in a cave. After three days more...