Muslim Jokes / Recent Jokes
In a recent interview with al-Arabiya TV, President Bush said, "The God that the Muslim prays to is the same God that I pray to."
Apparently, unbeknownst to us, Bush at some point converted to Islam. Maybe there is something to all those 9/11 conspiracy theories after all!
George Bush says he's a Born again Christian. I think he's more of a Muslim. I mean he comes from a big oil family, he's against women's rights, and I can't understand a fucking word he says.
Subject: The Office Party
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't Be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.
Happy now?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources more...
Q How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they prefer to sit in the dark and blame it on the Jews.
Q: What do you ask a man who's just converted to Islam?
A: Have you started beating your wife?
Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat.
Q How can you recognise a well-balanced Muslim?
A He's got chips on both shoulders.
Q: What's the difference between Dar al-Islam and a pot of bio-yogurt?
A: The yogurt has a living culture.
A guy goes into a sex shop and asks for a rubber doll. The guy behind the counter says "Normal or Muslim?".
"What's the difference?" asks the customer.
"The Muslim one blows itself up."
One day some intelligent men, who were going about the nation trying to find answers to some of the great questions of their time, came to Mulla Nasruddin's region and asked to see the wisest man in the place.
Mulla Nasruddin was brought forward, and a big crowd gathered to listen.
The first intelligent guy began by asking, "Where is the exact center of the world?"
"It is under my right heel," answered Mulla Nasruddin.
"How can you confirm that?" asked the first intelligent man.
"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "measure and see."
The first clever guy had nothing to respond to that, so the second wise guy asked his question. "How many stars are there in the sky?" he said.
"As many as there are hairs on my donkey," answered Mulla Nasruddin.
"What evidence have you got of that?" asked the second more...
An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond.
The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen."
Which means: "Don't drink the water; the cows have shit in it."
The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English."
The Amish man says: "Use two hands,.You'll get more."