Muslim Jokes / Recent Jokes
The humor and wisdom of Mulla Nasruddin never leaves him tongue-tied. One day an uneducated man came to Mulla Nasruddin with a letter he had received.
Mulla Nasruddin, please read this letter to me. Mulla Nasruddin looked at the letter, but could not make out a single word. So he told the man.
I am sorry, but I cannot read this.
The gentleman cried: Shame, Mulla Nasruddin! You must be ashamed before the turban you wear (i. e. the sign of education).
Mulla Nasruddin removed the turban from his own head and placed it on the head of the illiterate man, said:
There, now you wear the turban. If it gives some information read the letter yourself.
One wintry weather night while Mulla Nasruddin was sleeping he heard a noise that was suddenly made in the street. Having covered himself with his blanket, he came out to know the cause of the noise.
Suddenly a smart thief robbed him of his blanket and ran away.
He came back home without the blanket. In reply to his spouse who was asking about the reason for the noise, Mulla Nasruddin said, "All the dispute was about my blanket."
THREE righteous men - a Hindu, a Muslim and a Sikh happened to die suddenly and were presented before Dharamraj. Dharamraj was apologetic for having ended their lives abruptly. To make amends he offered to grant them whatever they had missed in life for one year before he consigned them to heaven or hell.
The Hindu spoke first:' Sire, I have been a strict vegetarian all my life. I would like to eat meat to my heart's content.'
'It shall be so/ replied Dharamraj and ordered his servants to feed him for a year with tandoori chicken, kababs and whatever other meat delicacies he wished.
Came the turn of the Muslim:' Sire, as a good Mussalman, I never tasted liquor. Please give me the best kind of wines and liquors for a year/
'It shall be so,' replied Dharamraj and ordered his servants to supply the man with vintage wines, premium Scotch and liquors for a year.
'And you Sardar Sahib, what would you like?'
'Sire, as a good Sikh I was forbidden to smoke. I more...
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. Happy now?
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources more...
Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven." The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?" The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried him in a cave. After three days more...
An Indian Muslim couple exchanged wedding vows by telephone after the groom, who lives abroad, said he did not have money to return home to get married.
Great, this means even wedding vows are being outsourced to India these days.