Muslim Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Muslim, A Madrasi and A Sardarji working in a company were really frustrated as everyday in their Tiffins the same things were packed. One day they decide that if the next day the same thing is there they would commit suicide. The next day when they open their tiffins they are depressed and the muslim jumps out the window and dies. same thing is done by the madrasi and the sardarji.
On the 13th day when their wives meet they discuss among themseleves why they did so.
The Muslim's wife says if he would have told me not to give mutton i would have prepared some thing else.
The madrasi says if once my hubby would have told me not to give idli i would have given him something else, why he had to commit suicide.
The Sardarji's wife was a bit confused and surprised. On asking about his husband she replies," I didn't understand why sardarji committed suicide, he used to prepare his own tiffin everyday"

There were two friends. One Hindu, Pawan and the other Muslim, Javed. They were heavy boozers. Not a day passed without their meeting, which resulted in ending up at a bar. Everyone was fed up with their drinking habit. Even they were keen to stop drinking. But the urge to drink always got the better of them.
Once they met in the morning. Being sober, they discuss their problem and came up with a solution. The Hindu says that it would be equal to eating the holy cow, and similarly the Muslim says that drinking whisky would be equal to eating a pig for him.
After their daily chores, their natural instinct made them meet outside the bar. They are happy to see each other, but they remind each other of their holy vow.
They couldn't stand outside for long and suggest that it is unholy for them to drink but they could always sit in the bar. Thus, they go inside and sat on their favourite table. They further decide, that they could always order a drink each and not drink it as it more...

Q: What do you call a muslim with a ham on his head?
A: Hamed!

2 Uyghurs, a minority Chinese Muslim group, were killed by the police outside of Beijing last week in a recent series of violent attacks against the group. A spokesperson for the group noted they should not be discriminated against by Chinese authority as if they were some radical terrorist group such as students or supporters of human rights.

Did you hear what the men say in a Muslim strip club?
'Get your face out for the boys...'

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to
commit suicide. Let's see now...
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders
No baseball
No football
No hockey
No golf
No tailgate parties
No Wal-Mart
No Home Depot
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No burgers
No chocolate chip cookies
No lobster
No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks
No gumbo
No jambalaya
No Beer
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smellof donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses
and veils at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
But your donkey has a better disposition.
Then they more...

The University of Michigan at Dearborn is among a dozen or so universities and colleges across the country that will be providing Muslim students with foot baths.

Next to the foot baths, the universities will be providing Muslim students with rim jobs.