Naked Jokes / Recent Jokes

An elephant walks up to a naked guy and says, "How do you breathe out of that thing?"

Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.

If you're feeling a bit stressed, try these to deal with it... Dance naked in front of your pets. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to school as if nothing is wrong. (NOTE: this also works well with the hubby who stayed at the pub too long.)Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at once. (Always have a witness on hand, just in case you attempt the Guiness World Record)Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. Find out what a frog in a blender "really" looks like. (Hamster in the microwave works well too.)Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg. ("Don't knock it until you try it!")Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages. Make up a language and ask people for directions. (Works great at 7-11's!)Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and place it back in the wrapper. (KIDS: make sure you make a nice more...

An elderly couple were sitting around the breakfast table one morning, doing a little reminiscing. "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years," the old man said to his wife.
"Yes, we have, dear," replied his wife. "Just think, 50 years ago we were sitting right here at this breakfast table together."
"We were probably sitting here butt naked fifty years ago," said the husband.
"Well, what do you say?" she said, with a sheepish grin. "Shall we get naked?"
In a flash they both stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, dearest," the old lady said breathlessly, "my nipples are still as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago."
"I'm not surprised, dear," the husband replied, "one is in your coffee and the other in your oatmeal!"

A nun and a priest were crossing the desert on a camel when suddenly it dropped dead.
"We're sure to perish here," the priest said "so I have a request of you sister..I have never seen a naked woman in all my life..Would you oblige me now that our end is near?"
With this the nun nodded yes, and disrobed..
The priest stared in amazement..So the sister says to the priest,
"I have never seen a naked man in all my life ..would you oblige me now that the end is near?"
"Yes sister," he said and took off his clothes.
The sister looking him up and down remarked on the size of his penis and asked if she could hold it in her hand..and as she did he got a huge erection..
"You know sister, if I put this in a special place I can create life."
"Well," said the nun, "if that is so...then stick it in the camel and lets get out of here!"

A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and
realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation
was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would
come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died.
After several days of not being rescued, they agreed that
they were not going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and
they discussed their predicament in great depth.
Finally the priest said to the nun, "You know, Sister, I am
about to die, and there's always been one thing I've wanted here on
earth-to see a woman naked. Would you mind taking off your clothes
so I can look at you?"
The nun thought about his request for several seconds and
then agreed to take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she remarked,
"Well, Father, now that I think about it, I've never seen a man naked,
either. Would you mind taking off your clothes, too?"
With more...

Santa singh and banta singh are the best of friends.santa is a bachelor while banta is married to a sexy woman.she has a voracious appetite for sex and banta cannot live upto her expectations.he simply gets tired.so soon banta's wife gets attracted to santa who is a strong, energetic, handsome sardar.soon they are in love.one day they decide to go to the next level...
Banta has a 5 yr. Old son.one fine morning banta's wife wakes him up at 5 in the morning and gives him a cold bath in the middle of the winter season.the poor child gets a slight fever by midday.grabbing this chance, banta's wife asks banta to take the child to the hospital.as soon as banta has left she calls over santa for some fun.
By half an hour they are both making wild love when suddenly they hear banta's car horn.scared santa hides behind the curtains.enter banta.he sees his wife lying on the bed.he asks her why she is sleeping when she says that she is feeling cold. He checks her temp...on the forehead more...