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This story was related to me yesterday at lunch by a fellow manager, who
heard it from his dad (guaranteed true...) Phenomenal testimony that
physics shall not be denied, with some small humor value as well.
This story involves railroad cars, Denver and a fascinating gadget used in
auto wrecking yards called a "chipper." Apparently this device is fed
old auto carcasses, and it in turn produces manageable-sized "chips" of
metal.
Seems that on this eventful evening, four gondola cars were filled by a
chipper and headed out of Denver around dusk. Somewhere along the track,
on an uphill grade, something mechanical failed on one of the cars, and
the train pulled to a siding to uncouple it. The dutiful crew chocked
the wheels with rocks, wood chunks, etc. and then proceeded to unhook the
car.
Seems no one had the slightest idea of the mass being packed in that unit,
as the rocks/wood held it in place for about 6 more...
Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car.
Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone.
Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. more...
Joke - How to uninstall AOL.
Follow these steps precisely, and proceed to the next step only after discovering that AOL is still installed.
1. Uninstall AOL through AOL's built-in uninstaller.
2. Uninstall AOL through Add/Remove Programs.
3. Do a System Restore to a date before you had AOL installed.
4. Give up and reinstall Windows.
5. Reinstall Windows again because it crashed halfway through.
6. Scream wildly. Swearing is appropriate in this instance.
7. Format the drive completely.
8. Reinstall Windows from scratch, and find a perfectly clean desktop with nothing except the "My Computer", "Recycle Bin" and "AOL" icons on your desktop.
9. Turn off computer, and physically remove hard drive. Run a large magnet over hard drive, then run it over with a 20-ton steamroller, then take hard rive to nearest data recovery company, where they'll politely tell you that they were unable to recover the spreadsheet that you more...
A woman was driving along, and her car broke down. She decided to hitchhike to the nearest gas station. A truck driver hauling a load of chickens pulled up. The driver asked, "Hey, little lady, need a lift?"
"Yes, my car broke down, and I need a ride to the nearest gas station."
The driver replied, "OK, but first you have to fuck me! No fuck, no ride."
She said, "I'm sorry, I don't need a ride that badly."
So the driver pulled away. All this time, the driver had a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot started saying, "No fuck, no ride! No fuck, no ride!" The driver said, "You had better shut up, bird, or I'm gonna throw you in back with the chickens!"
About two miles down the road, the parrot said, "No fuck, no ride!" So the driver slammed on the breaks and threw him in back with the chickens! About 2 more miles further down the road, the driver heard sirens and saw flashing lights, so he more...
get your pencil and paper!(maybe even a calculator)
STEP ONE
Pick a number between 1 and 100, Multiply it by 5. Add your age minus the number in family. Divide the number by 10 rounding to the nearest decimal Write down the number on 1 side of a piece of paper
STEP TWO
Pick another different number between 1 and 100. Multiply by 1998 Add the number in your family and minus your age Divide the number by 10 rounding to the nearest decimal Write down the number on the other side of the piece of paper
STEP THREE
Take the first 2 digits of your home phone number and add them to the last 2 digits of your work number and multiply by 365. Write the number on a new sheet of paper
STEP FOUR
Fold the first page in half. Now fold the second page. Place them side by side
Now pick up the two sheets - sheet one in your left hand and sheet two in your right more...