Nebraska Jokes / Recent Jokes
Police have arrested three executives from a troubled western Nebraska car dealership where 81 Ford and Toyota vehicles worth roughly $2.5 million vanished in recent days. The good news is that Ford and Toyota had insurance on the vehicles. The bad news is they were insured through AIG.
Three college football coaches were flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three died. They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God motioned for one of them to come into the clouds.
God wanted to know three things: "Who are you? What did you do? What did people think of you?"
The first coach said, "I'm Joe Paterno. I coached Penn State from 1966 to 2000. I won 300 games, 19 bowl victories, 2 national championships, and won Coach of the Year 4 times. The people of Pennsylvania think I'm great."
God said, "Fine, Joe, stand at my right side."
The next person said, "I'm Bobby Bowden. I coached Florida State University from 1980 to 2000. I had a. 816 win percentage, played in 14 bowl games without a loss and won a national championship after beating Nebraska. The people of Florida think I'm great."
God said, "Fine, Bobby, stand at my left side."
The third coach stood more...
Three college football coaches were
flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three
died.
They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God
motioned
for one of them to come into the clouds.
God
wanted to know three things: "Who are you? What did you do? What
did
people think of you?"
The first coach said, "I'm Joe Paterno. I
coached Penn State from
1966 to 2000. I won 300 games, 19 bowl
victories, 2 national
championships, and won Coach of the Year 4 times.
The people of Pennsylvania think
I'm great."
God said,
"Fine, Joe, stand at my right side."
The next person said, "I'm
Bobby Bowden. I coached Florida State
University from 1980 to 2000.
I had a. 816 win percentage, played in 14
bowl games without a loss
and won a national championship after beating
Nebraska. The people
of Florida think more...
One day three couples in a minivan are heading to Yellowstone National Park on a vacation. One couple is from Nebraska, one is from Kansas, and one is from Iowa. They stop at a little cafe on the side of the road for breakfast.
Their waitress serves them their food, and the husband from Nebraska says, "could you pass the honey honey?" to whom his wife, hands over the honey.
Then, the husband from Kansas says " Could you pass the sugar sugar?" and she passes him the sugar.
The Iowan husband sits there for a minute, then looks at his wife and says "Wanna pass me the bacon, pig?"
Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Alabama in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette player. Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroy can print his complete name. Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte, N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Omaha. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick". Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims
Woodrow and child more...
What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? "Nowledge."