Network Jokes / Recent Jokes

Every Chad down in Chadville liked voting a lot.
But the Grinch, from North Chadville, most certainly did not!
The Grinch hated voting! He thought it a bore.
Now, please don't ask why. Could be Bush, could be Gore.
It could be his heart bled with liberal mush.
It could be, perhaps, that he listened to Rush.
But I think the real reason his trust was so shattered
Was the great Grinchy view that his vote never mattered.
Whatever the reason, Lack of trust, lack of goals,
The Grinch dreaded that day when Chads went to the polls.
He just hated those speeches and negative ads,
And when push came to shove, he just hated the Chads.
He just hated their theme parks, their football-team rooters,
He just hated their gun laws, their barmaids at Hooters.
He just hated their weather, even hated their hate.
And he hated that they were a battleground state.
"So they're making their choices," he snarled with a more...

Top ten ways the Internet could get worse10. Rigorous user screening process abolished by America On-Line.9. "MAKE MONEY FAST" posts protected by 1st amendment, declare internet lawyers Canter & Siegel.8. Home shopping "network".7. Netrek corporate sponsorships. Out: Orion, Pollux, Klingus. In: Planet Bud, Toyota Prime, Intelworld.6. Sun internet servers replaced with pentiums.5. Dan Quayle appointed head of "bandwidth expansion tiger team".4. Free netcom account with purchase of big mac.3. Gameboy web browsers.2. Tipper Gore cancelbot unleashed onto the net.AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THE INTERNET CAN GET WORSE:1. Two words: "Microsoft Network"

I live in Sucker Brook, NY
But I take online classes in Cockatoo Grove, CA
My brother lives in Bitch Lake, ID
And I vacation in Hoboken, NJ
I need a network that will let me live the way I want to... in a place called:

SuckerCockaBitchaHo

Since 1-April-97, competition has been very keen in Singapore's cellular phone market due to the new entrant M1. Before that, there was only one operator, that's why no one covers more of Singapore than Singtel Mobile, absolutely no one. AMPS was the first system that Singtel launched, an Ageing Mobile Phone System. After that they realized that the system is outdated and they put up another system ETACS which the subscribers were not very happy about because it was Extremely Tough to Access Call System. Then came the 2nd generation cellular technologies, which Singtel was working with Ericsson to implement - GSM. After some time, Singtel found that things are Getting Slightly Messy, so they decided it was time to go into 3rd generation technology, PCN. However it is a very Poor Coverage Network and every time subscriber wants to make a call, they Phui Chao Nua because they can't get thru. So Singtel decides to rename PCN to the GSM1800 Network, or Get Some More Idiotic Bums Onto Our more...

Ebonics Version of Windows '98 Debuts!
Microsoft has announced that its special Ebonics version of Windows 98, titled "It be a fresh Window." It has been leaked to several suburbs, causing confusion for unsuspecting users.
There are numerous differences between Windows 98 and the Ebonics version.
When opening the Ebonics version, the familiar windows chime is replaced With a "phat getto track that melts 'em down wit dope-ass bass," The opening screen features a Windows logo that is spray painted on a brick wall - along with several gangsta signs, slogans and shout outs.
On the main screen, My Computer is replaced with "Dis My Shit."
The Recycle Bin has been replaced with a Goodwill dumpster.
If users are logged on to a network, the Network Neighborhood is replaced With "Da Hood."
Users have their choice of two animated screen savers: "Marquee," a lil' G spray- painting dirty words that move across the more...

Friendship Plan Announced

This is an addendum to the new compensation/benefits package.

BOEING MANAGED FRIENDSHIP

Welcome to Boeing Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships at work. With all the recent mergers and buyouts, it is difficult for most people to determine who their real friends are anymore. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with company-approved representation and important cost-saving features.

How Does It Work?

Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.

What's Wrong with my Current Friends?

If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of friendship providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, more...

Once a dog was following Santa. Seeing the dog following him Santa began to laugh hilariously. A man passing by asked him why was he laughing? Santa replied "I have an airtel connection then too the hutch network is following me!"