Newfie Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is the difference between a newfie and a bucket of shit...Answer... The Bucket

Two Polish guys were taking their first trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas, which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute!"
There were three guys walking together, a Newfie, a Quebecer, and a Vancouver guy. They came across a lantern and a genie popped out.
"I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes in total!" The Newfie said, "I am a fisherman, my dad's a fisherman, and his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish". Poof! The oceans were full of fish.
The Quebecer was amazed! He said, "I want a wall around Quebec, so nothing will get in!" more...

A newfie wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the newfie to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The newfie understood and was ready.
The time came to have the newfie jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded him that he would be right behind him. The newfie proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the newfie.
The newfie seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

Two Polish guys were taking their first trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas, which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute!"--------------------- There were three guys walking together, a Newfie, a Quebecer, and a Vancouver guy. They came across a lantern and a genie popped out." I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes in total!" The Newfie said, "I am a fisherman, my dad's a fisherman, and his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish". Poof! The oceans were full of fish. The Quebecer was amazed! He said, "I want a wall around Quebec, so nothing will get in!" more...

Well, a stranger walks into a Nova Scotia bar and says to the bartender: "Hey, you wanna hear a great Newfie joke?"
The bartender snarls, stands up straight exposing his arms he uses for bouncing obstreperous customers and says, "Wait a minute. I'm a Newfie."
"And see that fellow over there by the jukebox with the chains? He works down at the ways and drags the boats up by hand. He's a Newfie."
"And that guy in the leather jacket with him, he repairs boat engines and he's a Newfie too. Now, do you still want to tell a Newfie joke?"
The visitor looks around at the other men and shakes his head, "Naw, I don't want to have to explain it three times."

And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He'd tried to hang himself with a rubber band.