Newly Jokes / Recent Jokes

The newly ordained young priest asked his monsignor a favor: Would the older and more experienced man audition the young man's handling of confessions, and give him a candid critique? The monsignor agreed, and at the end of the day called the priest to give his verdict.
"Quite good, on the whole," he said. "But I do have a suggestion. I'd have preferred to hear a few more' Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!' and fewer' Oh, wows!'"

When a newly bought rooster died after only three weeks on the job, the farmer was determined that the replacement would last a while longer, and so, before putting the rooster into the hen coop, he dosed it heavily with vitamins and pep pills. The instant the bird was released, it charged into the coop and serviced every one of the hens therein. Then, before the farmer could stop it, it flew into the adjoining coop and proceeded to do the same for the geese. At this point, the farmer gave up and went back to the house, shaking his head and muttering, "He'll never last out the day." Sure enough, around sunset the farmer was crossing the yard, and there lay the rooster, legs aloft, flat on its back, with two hungry buzzards slowly circling above his supine body. "Damn it!" groaned the farmer. "Now I've got to buy me another new rooster!" At which point the rooster opened one eye, winked and, pointing at the nearing buzzards, said, "Shh!"

There was these newly weds that were both virgins and nervous about the wedding night. Finally when it came the wife took off all of her clothes and went under the covers while her husband took off his clothes one by one. First he took off his socks and his toes were messed up. His wife says "what happened to your toes?" He says "I had toelio". She says "you mean Polio", but he said, "no, toelio". Then he takes off his pants and the wife sees that his knees are all banged up and weird. The wife says "what happened to your knees?" He says "I had Kneaseles". And she says "you mean Measles" and he says "no, Kneaseles". Finally he took off his underwear and she says "Let me guess... small cox?"

The young newly married Catholic couple were regular attendants at Mass. As like all newly married couples, they were in a constant state of arousal. Well they didn't want to do anything wrong so they approached their Parish Priest for advice.
Father, the young couple asked... "is it ok to have sex before Mass ?"
The not so young Priest responded after a few moments of reflection... "yes my children it's ok to have sex before Mass .. but please don't block the aisles..."

The young newly married Catholic couple were regular attendants at Mass. As like all newly married couples, they were in a constant state of arousal. Well they didn't want to do anything wrong so they approached their Parish Priest for advice.Father, the young couple asked... "is it ok to have sex before Mass ?"The not so young Priest responded after a few moments of reflection... "yes my children it's ok to have sex before Mass .. but please don't block the aisles..."