Nicholas Jokes

Chaplain Meemordnilap's "Chaplain's thought" was in error. He had St. Nicholas (the original Santa Claus) confused with St. Dracula.
St. Nicholas, as we all know, is said to have lived in a fortress in the arctic region, from which he flew to reward good and punish evil, using the great powers he gained after being rocketed to Earth from the doomed planet Krypton. That is, except when he was disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper.
Please correct all manual and computer copies, and report to your local Inquisitor to have all traces of Meemornilap's heretical teachings erased from your mind.
- Father Talbot, Lycanthropoi Khristoi

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Nicholas!
Nicholas who?
Nicholas girls shouldn't climb trees!

Twas the "NET" before Christmas
When all through our house,
Not a creature was typing
nor moving a mouse.
Our Monitors hummed
and were glowing within,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas
would soon "Modem" in.
The teenagers were crashed
in their messy bedrooms,
and dreaming of boxes
With games such as Doom.
Mom back from aerobics
and done kissing me,
We just settled in for some
much needed ZZZ's.
When in the home office
there arose such a din,
I shot down the stairs,
Had the fax just come in??
Away to my keyboard
I leaped to my chair,
Typed in my password. ..
But no Fax was there!!
My screen came alive
it was wildly aglow,
The hard drive went crunching
The "One and the "O."
When what my bifocaled eyes
should I see,
But a Brand New Web Browser
not AT&T.
From server so rapid
(not one on the more...

Twas the "NET" before Christmas
When all through our house,
Not a creature was typing
nor moving a mouse.
Our Monitors hummed
and were glowing within,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas
would soon "Modem" in.
The teenagers were crashed
in their messy bedrooms,
and dreaming of boxes
With games such as Doom.
Mom back from aerobics
and done kissing me,
We just settled in for some
much needed ZZZ's.
When in the home office
there arose such a din,
I shot down the stairs,
Had the fax just come in??
Away to my keyboard
I leaped to my chair,
Typed in my password...
But no Fax was there!!
My screen came alive
it was wildly aglow,
The hard drive went crunching
The "One and the "O."
When what my bifocaled eyes
should I see,
But a Brand New Web Browser
not AT&T.
From server so rapid
(not one on the slates)
That I thought for a more...

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the nets,
Not a mousie was stirring, not even the pets.
The floppies were stacked by the modem with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The files were nestled all snug in a folder,
The screen-saver turned on, the weather was colder.
And leaving the keyboard along with my mouse,
I turned from the screen to the rest of the house.
When up from the drive there arose such a clatter,
I turned to the screen to see what was the matter.
Away to the mouse I flew like a flash,
Zoomed open a window in fear of a crash...
The glow from the screen on the keyboard below,
Gave an electronic luster to all my macros.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little sleigh icon with eight tiny reindeer.
And a tiny disk driver so SCSI and quick,
I knew in a nano it must be Saint Nick.
More rapid than trackballs his cursors they came,
He more...