Nurse Jokes / Recent Jokes
Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.
The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."
The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."
The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."
The fourth nurse fainted.
It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying, "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"He answered, " You've got to keep that old motor running."The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?"He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man."He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil.This one's black!"
It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl.
After a year she went into the hospital to give birth.
The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"
He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?"
He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."
The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man."
He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil, this one's black!"
A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."
Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear." The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees." The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer." The fourth nurse fainted.
The other day I was sitting in the doctor's office when a nun came running out of the exam room screaming and yelling. She was so upset, she didn't even pay her bill, just slammed the door and left.
About a minute later the doctor came out and the nurse asked him, "Doctor, what on earth happened in there?"
The doctor replied, "Well, I examined her. Then I told her she was pregnant."
"Pregnant? A nun? That's impossible!", said the nurse.
"I know it. But it sure cured her hiccups."
A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "I heard the nurse say,' It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"