Oboe Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you get an oboist to play A flat? Take the batteries out of his electric tuner.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the bassoon recital.

Q: Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?
A: The bassoon burns longer.

Q: What is a burning oboe good for?
A: Setting a bassoon on fire.

Q: Which burns better, an oboe or a bassoon?
A: A bassoon; there`s more wood!

Q: How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they`ll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

Q: What are oboes good for?
A: Kindling when burning bassoons

What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist? A bad oboist can kill you.

What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.

What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
No one cries when you chop up an oboe.

At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player having a fight.
He breaks the fight up and asks what the fight was about.
The oboe player says, "He broke my reed! I was just about to play my big solo when he broke my reed!"
"Well?" says the stage manager to the viola player. "What do you say to that?"
In umbrage, the viola player replies, "He undid two of my strings but he won`t tell me which ones!"

After years of hiding the fact that the love is gone, Mom and Dad announced to their grown children that they're getting a divorce.
The kids were totally distraught and, as a stab at keeping their parents together, arranged a series of sessions for the whole family with a world-famous marriage counselor.
The counselor worked for hours, tried all of his methods and tricks, but the parents wouldn't even talk to each other.
Finally, he walked over to a closet, brought out an oboe, and began to play. After a minute or so, the parents started talking and, as the counselor continued soloing on the oboe, the couple discovered they're not that far apart and decided to give their marriage another try.
The children were amazed and asked the counselor how he managed to do it. He replied, "Simple. I've never seen a couple that wouldn't talk through an oboe solo."