Oboe Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from the bassoon recital.Q: Why is a bassoon better than an oboe? A: The bassoon burns longer. Q: What is a burning oboe good for? A: Setting a bassoon on fire. Q: Which burns better, an oboe or a bassoon? A: A bassoon; there's more wood! Q: How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.Q: What are oboes good for? A: Kindling when burning basoons
OBOE: This weapon may appear harmless at first sight. The instrument's stealth qualities lure its intended victims into a false state of security, and then hit them without mercy. The oboe itself is a harmless composite or wooden conical tube. Once the ordnance (reed) is inserted, it is a weapon of tremendous power. One comforting factor is that the oboe is only as dangerous as the musician who wields it. At first glance, the operator of the oboe appears sweet, demure, and quite approachable. Do not be fooled by this deception. The oboist is actually a very high strung and temperamental foe. This mania is caused by the perpetual search for the perfect reed, which we all know doesn't exist. Those who play on plastic reeds are the bottom dwellers of the oboe world and are especially dangerous. The oboe is capable of producing a tone of laser-like quality. The sheer capabilities of volume produced can overpower an entire concert band.
The resulting backpressure produced by over more...
At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player having a fight. He breaks the fight up and asks what the fight was about. The oboe player says, "He broke my reed! I was just about to play my big solo when he broke my reed!""Well?" says the stage manager to the viola player. "What do you say to that?"In umbrage, the viola player replies, "He undid two of my strings but he won't tell me which ones!"
Q: How do you get two piccolos to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.
Q: What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe..
Q: What do you call an oboist who is deaf?
A: Principal.
Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but he gyrates so much he'll fall off the ladder.
Q: What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What do a clarinet and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Q: What's the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.
Q: What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower.
Q: If you were lost in the woods, who more...
Musician Jokes - In Score Order
How do you get two piccolos to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.
What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.
What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.
What's the difference between playing an English horn solo and wetting your pants?
Nothing. Both give you a warm feeling but no one else cares.
What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on the trampoline.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.
Why do clarinetists leave their cases on their dashboards?
So they can park in handicapped zones.
What's the definition of a nerd?
Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
Gifted.
What's the difference between a lawn mower and a soprano sax?
You can tune a lawn mower, more...