Obsolete Jokes / Recent Jokes

Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

IBM

I Blame Microsoft

Idiots Buy Me

Idiots Building Machines

I'll Buy Macintoshes

It Bit Me

It Built Microsoft

It's Better Manually

I've Been Mislead

I've Been Mugged

WINDOWS

Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed

When I Need Data Output Without Speed

While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation

Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

WIN

Whoppingly Immense NOP

Worm Infestation Netware

MS-WINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT

My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology

Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally

WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan

Different Operating Systems Expectations

Macintosh: What You See Is What You Get

MS-DOS: You Asked more...

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
DOS Defective Operating System
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM I Blame Microsoft
DEC Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of
Mathematics
COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
GIRO Garbage In Rubbish Out
MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for)
Fools (&) Teenagers.

WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System GIRO - Garbage In Rubbish Out. MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed. BASIC - Bill`s Attempt to Seize Industry Control. DEC - Do Expect Cuts. CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months. OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too. AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction. WWW - World Wide Wait. IBM = Imbecile Behind Macintosh. MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs.

PCMCIA - People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI - System Can't See It
DOS - Defunct Operating System
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
DEC - Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW - World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

Computer Terminology...
486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete: Any computer you own.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3: Apple's new Macs that make you say ''Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.''
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, ''Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.''
Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI: What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced ''gooey'')
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on more...