Ocean Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three men, a doctor, a minister, and a lawyer take a fishing boat out onto the ocean. A terrible storm arises, and the boat takes a great quantity of water. Fearing that they will all die, they decide that one of them must jump into the shark infested waters so that the other two may live.
The minister volunteers, saying that God will take care of him. He jumps in and is immediately eaten by the sharks.
More water comes into the boat. They decide that one of the two remaining people must jump in. The doctor says "I have spent my entire life healing people, certainly I will survive the ocean." He jumps in and is immediately eaten by the sharks.
A person is walking along the shore line. He sees the boat being pushed by sharks onto the shore. It reaches the shore, and the lawyer steps out calmly. The man runs to the lawyer, and says "hey, what was that all about?"
The lawyer says "Professional courtesy."

your mumma so fat that when she went in the ocean the whale started singing "we are family"

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
From a catalog.
How you get down from an elephant?
You don't, you get down from ducks.
What city has the largest rodent population?
Hamsterdam.
What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates?
"Well done."
What did one cloned sheep say to the other?
"I am ewe."
What did one magnet say to the other magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
What did one potato chip say to the other?
Shall we go for a dip?
What did the painter say to the wall?
"One more crack and I'll plaster you!"
What do cats like on a hot day?
A mice cream cone.
What do cats like on their hot dogs?
Mouse-tard.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog.
How you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from ducks.
What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam.
What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates? "Well done."
What did one cloned sheep say to the other? "I am ewe."
What did one magnet say to the other magnet? "I find you very attractive."
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
What did one potato chip say to the other? Shall we go for a dip?
What did the painter say to the wall? "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"
What do cats like on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
What do cats like on their hot dogs? Mouse-tard.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog.How you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from ducks.What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam.What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates? "Well done."What did one cloned sheep say to the other? "I am ewe."What did one magnet say to the other magnet? "I find you very attractive."What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.What did one potato chip say to the other? Shall we go for a dip? What did the painter say to the wall? "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"What do cats like on a hot day? A mice cream cone.What do cats like on their hot dogs? Mouse-tard.What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

Rohan-'You Know My Father Went To Atlantic Ocean And Came Out From Artic Ocean. Rahul-'My Father Went To Bombay And Came From
Delhi. Rohit-'But My Father Went To The Tank And Came Out From The Tap.

An american, a russian, and a dane was discussing the differences between their countries. Pretty soon the general talking turned into general bragging about how terrific their respective countries where.
The Russian said, "Our navy is so big, that if we all sailed out at once, it would cover every ocean in the world."
The American, not wanting to let the Russian get the better of him, continued, "Well, our Air Force is so big that if all of our planes took off at once we could cover the sky all over the world."
The Dane thought for a while then said: "I once new a guy in Odense whose dick was so long that 17 parrots could sit on it at once."
They stood for a while not saying anything, until the Russian decided he might modify his bold statement a bit, "Well maybe the ships wouldn't cover ALL of the ocean."
The American, feeling the need for honesty as well said, "Well, maybe the planes wouldn't cover all of the sky more...