Ocean Jokes / Recent Jokes

your momma is so fat when she goes swimming in the ocean the whales go we are family even thogh your biger than me

Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor thathe's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him,"Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock." Steve says, "Will that keep me from getting sick?" The doctor says, "No, but it'll look real pretty in the water."

This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots a blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field. “Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field? ” The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, ”Because it is an ocean of wheat. ” The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field. “It is blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name. ” The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again. The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at the blonde in the field yelling, “If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your ass! ”

Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day, she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise.
She booked passage on a cruise liner - first class all the way... The cruise started off in a grandiose scale, dancing and parties every night.
But Penny was a cautious girl, so she never drank, but just danced the night away.
One night, after they had been at sea for a week, Penny was walking back to her cabin, when the heel on her left shoe broke throwing her off balance. If that wasn't enough, the ship chose that moment to tilt to the left. As a result, Penny was thrown overboard.
A hue and a cry were immediately raised, and after about five minutes they found Penny. Hauling her aboard, the ship's crew realized that it was too late, poor Penny was dead.
Normally, they would have done a burial at more...

Once Three Friends Were Discussing The Greatness Of Their Father.
First Boy: My Dad Enters To Bathe In The Caspian Sea And Comes Out From Arabian Sea.
Second Boy: My Dad Enters To Bathe In The Atlantic Ocean And Comes Out From Pacific Ocean.
Third Boy: My Dad Enters From Our Buildings Water Tank And Comes Out From Our House Tap

A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, "You've shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell.""I don't know!" she flounders."Tell you what," St. Peter says, "You can have 24 hours in heaven and 24 hours in hell. Then you have to decide where to spend eternity.""Okay then," she says. "I'll start with heaven since I'm here already."She goes in the pearly gates and makes some acquaintances. They have a nice walk among beautiful gardens. They have a nice quiet lunch. They have a nice stroll along a pristine, white, sandy beach looking out on brilliant blue ocean. At the end of the day she is shown to a nice room, and has a quiet meal on the balcony, looking out over the setting sun and the ocean. She marvels at the scenic beauty of heaven.The next morning, St. Peter takes her to the fiery gates of hell and hands her more...

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.