One-liners Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear about the midget that overdosed on Viagra?
He's a little stiff now.
The other night during dinner my brother told a joke and I laughed so
hard that milk shot out my nose. The creepy part is that I wasn't
drinking milk.
- Dave George
1. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
2. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
4. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
10. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars more...
I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.