One-liners Jokes / Recent Jokes

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because sheep can hear the zipper.

Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

I don't believe in reincarnation, which is strange, because in a previous existence, I did.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

Wise men talk because they have something to say, Fools talk because they have to say something.

The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
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Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment
Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute
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One sperm says to the other,' 'How far is it to the ovaries?'' The other one says,' 'Relax. We just passed the tonsils.''
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Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
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Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.
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Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, more...