One Line Jokes

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

A magician was driving down the road.. then he turned into a drive way...

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Funny, I smell carrots too".

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"

Q: What is the difference between women and magnets?
A: Magnets have also positive side.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's s*x?
A: Wait until it's born.

Q: What is the biggest mouse in the world?
A: Enormous

* If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
* If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
* Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
* Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
* If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
* When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in. . . what happens to the other penny?
* Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
* Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
* When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
* Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
* Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
* Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite more...