Operation Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Gates: Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo: Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.
Gates: Have you installed Windows at home?
Laloo: I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house. Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo: OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.
Gates(Sweating): Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased moquito problems many people are sleeping under the net. Gates: By the year 2002 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.
Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.
Gates(Sweating Heavily): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo: RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A. P.
Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I more...

Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive 98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex.
Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market.
The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings.
The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom 98, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities).
A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive 98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a package for start-ups, aimed at the more...

Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex.
Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market.
The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings.
The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities).
A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a package for start-ups, aimed at the more...

One night a man and his wife were lying in bed and she was complaining that his penis was small and asked why he didn't do something about it.
The next night thay were in bed and she reached between his legs and gasped, "How did it get so big?"
Husband said, "Simple, I went to the hospital and had an operation."
The wife replied, "What kind of operation?"
The husband said, "I had an addadicktome!"

Dear Santa,
How are you doing? I hope you've had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It's really neat how you're able to do that year after year. I guess that's how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business business.
Actually, I admire the way you run Christmas. You really have a handle on it. You find out what people want (with letters like this and having kids tell you in person), and then you make the presents and control how they are delivered. It's an impressive operation.
I also like how you've got it to where when somebody says "Christmas presents," people automatically think Santa Claus. What a marketing advantage. Best of all, even though you're a huge success, people still don't know much about your private life. It's just rumors. That's so neat.
I think being at the North Pole helps. That was a good move. For example, when you're designing toys, only your elves know what you're doing, and you're way more...

A sales manager and an operation manager went bear hunting. While the operation manager stayed in the cabin, the sales manager went out looking for a bear.

He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward the sales manager, who started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.

Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear jumped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The sales manager jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

A man with a stuttering problem tries everything he can to stop stuttering, but he can't. Finally, he goes to a world renowned doctor for help. The doctor examines him and says "I've found your problem. Your penis is twelve inches long. It weighs so much that it's pulling on your lungs, causing you to stutter." So he asks, "What's he cure, doc?" The doctor replies, "Well, we have to cut off six inches."
The man is eager to cure his stuttering so he agrees to the operation. The operation is a success, and he stops stuttering. Two months later, the man calls the doctor and tells him that since he's had the 6 inches cut off, all of his girlfriends have dumped him, and his love life has gone down the tubes. He insists that the doctor do another operation to add the six inches back on.
There is silence on the other end of the telephone, so the man repeats, "Hey doc, didn't you hear me? I want my six inches back!" Finally, the doctor more...