Operations Jokes / Recent Jokes
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon! Where do little fishes go every morning? To plaice school! What fish goes up the river at 100mph? A motor pike! How could the dolphin afford to buy a house? He prawned everything! 1st kipper:' Smoking's bad for you' 2nd kipper:' It's OK, I've been cured' What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather? Skate! What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab! What do you get from a bad-tempered shark? As far away as possible! Why did the whale cross the road? To get to the other tide!
Meeting with his new son-in-law, the successful businessman said, "I love my daughter with all my heart and welcome you into the family. "To show how much we care for you, I have made you a 50/50 partner in my business. All that you are required to do is go to the factory daily and learn the operations."
"But I hate factories. I can't stand all the noise," the son-in-law stated.
"Alright," the father-in-law said, "then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations."
"I don't care for office work," said the son-in-law. "Being stuck behind a desk all day just isn't for me."
"Just a minute," said the father-in-law. "I have just made you half-owner of a very successful, money-making organization, yet you don't like factories and won't work in an office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Buy me out!" replied the son-in-law.
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family, ” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations. ”
The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise. ”
“I see, ” replied the father-in-law. “Well then, you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations. ”
“I hate office work, ” said the son-on-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day. ”
“Wait a minute, ” said the father-in-law. “I just made you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don’t like factories and won’t work in an office. What am I going to do with you? ”
“Easy, ” said the young man. “Buy me out. ”
The following is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations:
#1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
#2: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to south to avoid a collision.
#1: This is the captain of a U. S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
#1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE. WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE U. S. NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
#2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.
"I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."
The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."
"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations."
"I hate office work," said the son-in-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."
"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."