Opinion Jokes / Recent Jokes
The opinion of the intelligent is better than the certainty of the ignorant.
THE PROBLEM
Having to write letters of recommendation for people with very dubious qualifications can cause serious legal troubles in a time when laws have eroded the confidentiality of business letters. In most states, job applicants have the right to read the letters of recommendations and can even file suit against the writer if the contents are negative.
THE SOLUTION
Here is an arsenal of statements that can be read two ways: You are able to state a negative opinion of the ex-employees poor work habits, while allowing the ex-employee to believe that it is high praise. When the writer uses these, whether perceived correctly or not by the ex-employee, the phrases are virtually litigation-proof.
1. To describe a person who is extremely lazy:
"In my opinion," you say as sincerely as you can manage, "you will be very fortunate to get this person to work for you."
2. To describe a person who is totally inept:
"I most more...
A Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.
The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!" and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home.
After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"
"I was in bed."
"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"
"Getting a second opinion."
A Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!" and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home.
After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"
"I was in bed."
"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"
"Getting a second opinion."
A Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.
The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!" and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home.
After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"
"I was in bed."
"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"
"I was getting a second opinion."
These four guys were walking down the street,
a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a
New Yorker.A reporter comes running up and says,
'Excuse me, what is your opinion about the
meat shortage?'The Saudi says,' Excuse me, what's a shortage?'The Russian says,' Excuse me, what's meat?'The North Korean says,' Excuse me, what's an opinion?'The New Yorker, says,' Excuse me? What's excuse me?
Yesterday on our Superstar Talent Bitcom page, we got a comment on Episode 3. It came from a guy named John Kennedy. It said something like, “They did this on Extras, come up with something original.” Neil, who plays Avi on the show, woke me up and requested that I remove the comment, so I did. I think we were hoping for a few good comments prior to the hate mail and/or law suits.
Paraphrasing this piece by Teddy Roosevelt, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
So for all of you who are the watchers and not the doers in life, you can have your opinion(s), I can respect that, it’s a free more...