Opposite Jokes / Recent Jokes
Pappu was in 2nd standard. In his english exam there was a question to fill up the blank space with the opposite of the word given in capital letters.....
Q: my grandfather is old, but my father is.......
Pappu answered.. My grandfather is old, but my father is new...!
There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
You have a' Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
You hide everything from your parents.
Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
Everyone is a family friend.
Everyone always called you for help on homework.
You read law, medicine or engineering at university.
You were thick (i. e. stupid) so you studied accounting or business instead.
You know no one who has studied music.
You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
Your more...
Johnny and his mother were having a parent-teacher conference.
MOTHER: Johnny really enjoys having you as a teacher, Mrs. Bengal.
JOHNNY: Really? I didn't know it was opposite day!
Interviewer: give me the opposite words. Banta singh: ok Interviewer: made in india Banta singh: destroyed in pakistan Interviewer: keep it up Banta singh: put it down Interviewer: maximum Banta singh: mini dad Interviewer: ( angry )enough! Take your seat Banta singh: don't take my seat Interviewer: idiot! Take your seat Banta singh: clever! Don't take my seat Interviewer: i say you get out! Banta singh: you didn't say i come in Interviewer: i reject you! Banta singh: you appoint me Interviewer:. ...!
A Singapore English radio station, was holding a live radio segment at a shopping mall. The DJ was hosting a game show where prizes were given away to kids on stage if they could name the opposite gender of animals. The first kid to come on stage was a girl. "What's your name girl & how old are you?" "My name is Cheryl & I am 8 years old." "OK, tell me Cheryl, what is the opposite of cow?" "Bull." "Very good! That's correct. Now here's a Barbie doll for you. Ladies & gentlemen, please give her a round of applause." The game then continued for the next 15 minutes in a similar fashion with the kids getting all the simple questions correct until it was time for the 10th kid to come on stage. The audience were very impressed with this kid as he was very clever & articulate from the moment he stepped on stage, before being asked, announced, "My name is Johnny. I am 7 years old and I like English, Math & Art. My hobbies are collecting more...
The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. "Elation," said she. "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?""Sadness," said the student. And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma."Elation," said she."And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."