Oral Jokes / Recent Jokes
How do a jewish couple have oral sex?... "SET AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BED AND YELL SCREW YOU TO ONE AND OTHER"Sent by Ivan
Q. How do Rednecks engage in oral sex?
A. They go to opposite ends of the trailer, and shout "**** you" at each other.
Koala bear walks into a bar and picks up a woman. Takes her back to his place and perfoms oral sex on her. After satisfying her he just gets up to leave.
She insist that he stay longer. He hands her a handout from Australlia that idetifies him as an animal that "eats bushes and leaves."
The Perfect Day According To: HER8: 45 Wake up to hugs and kisses9: 00 5 pounds lighter on the scale9: 30 Light breakfast11: 00 Sunbathe12: 30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe1: 45 Shopping2: 30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex - notice she's gained 30 lbs3: 00 Facial, massage, nap7: 30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing10: 00 Make love11: 30 Pillow talk in his big strong armsHIM10: 00 Wake up10: 02 Oral sex10: 10 Big Breakfast11: 30 Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters2: 15 Enormous lunch3: 15 Oral sex3: 25 Play sports with the guys4: 30 Drink beer with the guys6: 30 Meet Claudia Schiffer6: 40 Oral sex6: 50 Huge dinner, more beer11: 00 Full on, get down, gorilla sex11: 10 Sleep
Oral Sex Oral Argument Will the justices know it when they see it?
'But Ginsburg suggested Lewinsky may say she and Clinton engaged in an act other than intercourse.' What's the president's definition of sex?' he asked in an interview minutes after Clinton's statement.'
--USA Today, Jan. 27, 1998
Justice O'Connor: I am trying to get my mind around this theory, Counselor.
Mr. Bennett: Yes, Your Honor.
Justice O'Connor: You say it was not sex? Though the affidavit and counsel all attest that she. .. did as the affidavit attests?
Mr. Bennett: Your honor, we are proposing that not everything that looks like sex is sex and that some things that do not look like sex are in fact sex. To me, ministering to a person's toes in a particular way does not look like sex, but I am reliably told it is sex. On the other hand, say you visit your doctor and your doctor fingers your anatomy, to find lumps or sores or whatever. That's not more...
Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful.
A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior - And it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
Q: My husband wants to more...
Q: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand?
A: Yes
Q: What school did you attend in the fall of 1995?
A: Oral.