Oregon Jokes

A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts.

In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry lady demanded,' What took you so long?' He replied,' Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.'

You might be from the Northwest if you:
Feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

Use the expression "sun break" and know what it means.

Know more than 10 ways to order coffee (and know different parts of town by the espresso joints).

Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

Stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.

Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it's not a real mountain.

Complain about Californians, as you sell one your house for twice its value.

Can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best Coffee, and Veneto's.

Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.

Consider swimming an indoor more...

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there

If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number

If you measure distance in hours

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once

If you have switched from' heat' to' A/C' and back again in the same day

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave the doors unlocked, you probably live in Oregon...

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee

If you know more people who own boats than air more...

Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence? To see what was on the other side.

CORVALLIS, OREGON: Oregon State football practice was delayed yesterday for two hours.

One of the players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head Coach Dennis Erickson immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed when FBI Special Agents decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.