Ouch Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I hurt all over."

The doctor says, "That's impossible!" She explains, "When I touch my arm, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my chest, ouch, it hurts."

The doctor just shakes his head and asks, "You're a natural blonde, aren't you?"

The woman smiles and says, "Why, yes I am. How did you know?" The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.So I said "Implants?"

The following was contributed by Emil:A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman,"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! - I'll have alarge whiskey please, barman." The man takes his whiskey and downs it. "Same again?" asks the barman. "Okay" says the man and downs the second. He then orders a third and a forth and downs them both.In fact in totalhe downs 27 whiskeys. "Do you want another?" asks the barman. "No I don't think so", says the man, "If 27 whiskeys won't take away the tasteI don't think that another one will!"

ok a guy runs into a bar.
what do u think he says?
OUCH GOD DAMN IT!!!

A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, when a Chinese man comes in. The Jewish man jumps up and punches him in the face.
"Ouch!" the Chinese man says.
"What was that for?"
"That was for Pearl Harbour," the Jewish man says.
"But I'm Chinese!"
"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"
And the Jewish man sits back down.
A few minutes later, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face.
"Ouch!" the Jewish man says.
"What was that for?"
"That was for sinking the Titanic," the Chinese man says.
"Sinking the Titanic??? But that was an iceberg!"
"Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

Ouch! My tooth hurts! Target: "Why?" Because you are soooo sweet!

A man WALKS INTO A BAR and says OUCH!