Ounce Jokes / Recent Jokes

An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.

An ounce of rejection is worse than a pound of "sure".

A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate."That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive.""Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars.""Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain? Why on earth is that?""Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we would have to kill?"

A lady walks into the mall. She smells her perfume, "ahh, $50 an ounce."She walks off. Another lady walks into the mall. She smells her perfume, "ahhh, $100 an ounce." The last lady walks into the mall and farts. "Ahhh, Broccli, 98 cents a pound."

An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.