Ours Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why it`s better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend`s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We`ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don`t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies. .. (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we`re gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE`RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new more...
We got off the Titanic first. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. Our boyfriend`s clothes make us look elfin gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. We can cry and get off speeding fines. Taxis stop for us. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free moving (you get the point). We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we`re gay. We don`t have to fart to amuse ourselves. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. If we`re dumb, some people will find it cute. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. Gay waiters don`t make us uncomfortable. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
Why We Appreciate Men And How Our Bubbles Get Burst When He Ain't Prince Charming!! (and added comments)1. They've got that comfortable place on their shoulder that's perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. (At least that's what his girlfriend/wife says - depending on which YOU are!)2. They're at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. (The *names deleted* of the world.. . teehee!!)3. They're enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we're not. (Yeh, don'tcha love it when they say you look great.. . just don't get over 200 lbs!!)4. They're beyond enthusiastic about sex. (OK if they are discriminate.. . about who they are having it with!!)5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. (And don't be shocked if it is their wife.. . " you helped me through a hard time in our marriage and now it's better than ever" OR.. . " yes, I confess, I DID have a fling (you!!), but let's not let that interfere with more...
They've got that comfortable place on their shoulder that's perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep.
They're at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness.
They're enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we're not.
They're beyond enthusiastic about sex.
They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall.
Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek.
Bravery around snakes, waterbugs, bats and flat tires.
Their unapologetic lust for a nice hunk of beef or chocolate cake.
Their ability to solve problems simply by throwing a ball around.
The glimpse you get, when they wear their baseball cap backwards of their inner Little Leaguer.
How tender they get when they cry and how seldom they do it.
What they lack in talk, they tend to make up for in action.
They make excellent companions when driving through rough neighborhoods or walking past dark alleys.
They really more...