Outta Jokes / Recent Jokes
Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site."
Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a long time. I'm' fraid someone will break dey laig, so I fix de hole. "
Priest: "Well, that's not so bad."
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left."
Priest: "What did you do with it?"
Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog, Phideaux, he ain't never had no place to get outta de wether, so I make him his own leetle doghouse."
Priest: "OK, anything else?"
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left. So you know, my truck, she ain't never had no place to get outta de wether either, so I make her a two car garage."
Priest: "Now, this is getting a little more...
Why'd the monkey fall outta the tree? 'cause he was dead...Why'd the other monkey fall outta the tree? 'cause he was dead too...Why'd the third monkey fall outta the tree? peer pressure...
One day a teacher asked her class, "What do you want outta life?"
So a girl in the back raised her hand and said, "I want four things."
"what four things would those be?"Asked the teacher.
"I want a tiger in bed, a jaguar in the garage, a mink on my back, and a jackass to pay for it all."
It's the time of the Old West.
A citizen of the town comes running into the saloon and screams, "Big Bad Bart is coming! Big Bad Bart is coming! We gotta get outta town."
Everyone gets up in a hurry and takes off as fast as they can, including the saloonkeeper, who when hopping over the bar slips on a beer and knocks himself unconscious.
When he comes to, he makes his way outside to see the biggest, meanest man he's ever seen riding down the center of the town on two buffaloes, whipping them with a rattlesnake screaming, "Giddyup! Let's go, come on."
He makes his way over to the saloonkeeper, dismounts, and enters the saloon.
Breaking both doors off the hinges while entering, he walks up to the bar, slams his fist down, breaking the bar in half and hollers, "Gimme some beer in a gallon jug."
After the saloonkeeper hands him the jug, he watches as the man drinks it in three seconds more...