PMS Jokes / Recent Jokes

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE!!

And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?

Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb.

They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this

house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT.

And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the

light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD

for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS!

But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the

chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the

STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!

AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID

#)&*!@!! LIGHT BULBS CAME IN.

WHY???

BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!

IT'S A more...

The minister was presenting his Sunday morning service to the congregation. He stated that everything that mankind had experienced or would ever experience was discussed or mentioned in the Bible. After the sermon, he was shaking hands with the congregation as they filed out of the church. A woman came up to the minister and said, "Preacher, I heard your message today and I really believe that what you said is true. However in my readings of the Scripture, I have never seen any mention of PMS." The minister scratched his head.... thought for a moment and said, "Well sister just off the top of my head I cannot think of a passage but I'm sure that it exists. See me after next week's service and I will give you an answer." The next Sunday as the preacher was again shaking the hands of the leaving congregation the woman again came up to him and asked if he had in fact gotten her an answer. The preacher said, "Yes my dear, that passage does in fact exist." She more...

Q. Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A. She missed.
Q. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
A. It finally dawned on her.
Q. What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
A. He wanted to know who the other man was...
Q. What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A. An air bag.
Q. Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A. They don't know the route.
Q. Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A. So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
Q. What is foreplay for a blonde?
A. Thirty minutes of begging.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A. Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A1. You need a quarter to more...