Pakistan Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a period during the Pakistan army's campaign of repression in East Pakistan, now Bangladesh, which was directed exclusively at the Hindus. Every Bangla Hindu tried to pass off as a Muslim. The Pakistan army couldn't be fooled that easily. During one of their pogroms, they lined up all the adults of the village.
'Name?' asked the officer.' Moosa Mian,' replied the man.
'lift up your tehmad.' Moosa Mian did as he was told. He was allowed to go.
The next one, a Hindu, was understandably nervous.' Name?' demanded the officer.
'Atul Bihari,' replied the man, shaking with fear.
'Why are you so scared?' demanded the officer.' We are not looking for Biharis but only Hindus.'

This was in 1988 during Rajiv Gandhi and Zial Haq days. Once when RG went to Pakistan on a state visit, ZH showed him the state of the art telephone system of Pakistan. RG even made a call to hell and spoke to his mother Indira Gandhi for about 10 minutes. The bill came to just 1 pakistani rupee.
RG was highly impressed by Pakistan's telephone system and after coming back to India ordered the ministry of communications to come up with equally good system in record time so that he too can show it to ZH when he makes a return visit to India after a couple of months. Indeed when ZH came to India, RG showed him the telephone system. ZH spoke to Bhutto in hell for about 10 minutes. The bill came to 300 indian rupees.
ZH made a sarcastic remark about the cost of the call to hell being so expensive . RG was furious and wanted to know why the call to hell was so expensive. The engineers immediately came up with the reason. A call to hell from India is a long distance call, but from more...

South Pasadena has declared the first week of March a cuss-free week. To avoid cursing, residents are encouraged to watch the Disney channel, stay away from alcohol, and not think about their daughter's Pakistani boyfriend.

After Just A Minute Summit Of Laloo And Musharaff Without Any Aides, Both Came Out To Address The Press Conference. Musharaff Said," Laloo Will Address You. All I Want To Say Is'Pakistan Withdraws All Its Claims Of Kashmir From India". Reporters Grilled Laloo As To How This Marathan Feat Could Be Possible In Just A Minute Which The Great Leaders In The Past Could Not Do. Laloo Said. ."I Just Passed On The Free Gift Scheme To Musharaff Which He Denied. You Know, If You Take A Fridge, Tape Recorder Is Free Like That... Pakistan Can Take Kashmir From India...... But Bihar Is To Be Accepted Free With That."......

In order to develop friendly relationship between the two countries, Vajpyee and Musharraf decided to visit each others country regularly.
The first visit was by Musharraf to India. There Vajpyee showed him Indians modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Musharraf made a call to Zia-ul-Haq in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes! The bill for the call came to only Re. 1.
When Musharraf came back, he also wanted Pakistans telecommunication systems to be at the best when Vajpyee visited Pakistan. Suitable arrangements were made. Vajpyee came to Pakistan, visited the telecom department and talked to Rajiuv Gandhi in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500!
Vajpyee asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in Pakistan? "
A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From India to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from Pakistan it is long distance!".

President Musharraf went to the US & had a meeting with President Bush. Bush said, "I want to show you the advancement in technology in USA. Come with me."
Bush takes him in a deep forest and says, "Dig the ground."
Musharraf digs.
Bush says, "More, more, more..."
Musharraf has now reached 100 feet.
Bush says, "So now, did you find anything?"
Musharraf, "I got a wire!"
Bush says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones!"
Musharraf was very frustrated and he invited Bush to Pakistan. In Pakistan Musharraf says, "Now I want to show you the advancement in Pakistan!"
He takes Bush to a forest and asks him to dig.
After some time Musharraf says, "More.... More... more!"
Bush has now reached almost 400 feet.
Musharraf says, "Find anything?"
Bush tries but finds nothing, "Nothing here!"
Musharraf says, more...

Pakistan has banned "The Da Vinci Code."

"Jesus is considered a prophet in Islam," explained President Musharraf. "Plus, it's been weeks since I banned anything. I'm trying to get laid here, people."