Pakistan Jokes / Recent Jokes
It's called the Swat Valley because everybody wears black and has an assault rifle...and it's a valley.
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners come in. Come into my humble shop." So the married couple walked in.
The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals 1 think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex hero he was. The husband asked the man, "how could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, "Why don't you try them on and see for yourself?"
Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; more...
Taliban militants threatened suicide attacks on Pakistani bus drivers who play American music on their buses saying that such entertainment was spreading "vulgarity and obscenity," Clay Aiken CDs have fallen off sharply.
1) Declaring the winner: If Pakistan bats first and scores x runs then
the target for India will be revised to x/2. They need to score (x/2)+1
runs to be declared winner. If India bats first then the number of overs
for Pakistan will be reduced to 25. Even after these modifications India
contrive to lose, they will be awarded psychological victory.
2) Fielding restrictions: When India is fielding, as soon as any fielder
touches the ball, it will be deemed as dead ball and Pakistan batsmen
will only be allowed to complete that run. This modification is being
done to eliminate time being wasted for overthrows etc.
3) By popular demand from Indian players, a few additional coaches have
been included in the touring party with immediate effect. They are,
Batting coach: Ravi Shastri
Bowling Coach(with experience in Sharjah conditions): Chetan
Sharma
Fielding Coach: Ravi Shastri(Dual responsibility)
TV Commercials more...
Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell. Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million dollars". .
She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair. Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too" He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Ten million dollars" With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair. Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Pakistan too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of my Parliment"..... He called
Pakistan and more...
Once in the indo pakistan war, pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called gurudwara hideout was crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets.
The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps cptn. Hari singh wearing a maachar dani! (mosquito net). He pulls out his ak-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run off quickly. The next day hari singh gets a medal.
His freinds ask him "yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" hari singh replies "maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi?
In the following war hari singh retires and his son gyani singh (no assumptions please! ) Joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts gyani more...
India test fired a nuclear capable missile today just days after rival Pakistan tested it's own missile. A spokesman for India proclaimed that their missile - code named "Helmet" - was longer and reached a wider area than Pakistan's missile - code named "Aardvark Nose".