Pakistani Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Pakistani officer broke into the house of a professor in East Pakistan, formerly Bangladesh, and saw three pictures on the wall: Kazi Nazrul Islam, Mr Jinnah and Gurudev Tagore. He assumed that Nazrul Islam's photograph was that of a Hindu so he shot it with his revolver. Then he sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Mr Jinnah. And who is this fellow with the long hair and beard?' demanded the officer.
'Sir, that is the father of Quaid-e-Azem Jinnah,' replied the quickwitted professor. The soldier sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Tagore.

Three indian soldiers, jai reddy (tamil), joy bosu (bengali), and santa Singh are captured by pakistani army. The pakistani corp commander does not want to have them as pows and has decided to execute them. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.

The reddy asks for a masala dosa, which he is served and then taken away.

The boss requests a machli bhath, which he is served and also taken away.

Santa requests sarson ka saag and makki di roti. The captors are surprised and reply ‘ sarson? ’

‘yes, sarson. ’

‘arre sarson to is season mein aati nahin hai! ’

‘koi gall nahin. Asee intezaar karanga…’

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Pakistani Innings.
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Where do Pakistani batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.
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When would Rana-Naveed have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling.
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What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Pakistani batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.
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How to increase the chances of Pakistani batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two overs to begin with, then try three and so on.
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What is the Pakistani version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls
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What is the height of optimism?
Inzi coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
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Phone Call for Inzi:
Pakistan Team Manager: "Hello"(over Phone)
Wife: "Can I talk to Inzi, this is his wife."
Pakistan Team Manager:"Sorry, he is just going to bat"
Wife:"No Problem Manager, more...

Malik returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his
father. Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Pakistani?
No son, that`s because you are intelligent. Malik seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this
because I am Pakistani? No son, that`s because you are intelligent, replies his father. Happy with the answer, Malik poses another question to his father, Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Pakistani? The father replies, No son, that`s because you are 31 years old.

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got
arrested consuming alcohol which
is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so
for the terrible crime they are
all sentenced 20 lashes each of the
whip.
As they were preparing for their
punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today,
and she has asked me to allow
each of you one wish before your
whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought
for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned more...

Question: If Pakistan had the capacity to go nuclear, why did it take them 15 days after India's blasts at Pokhran to show it could do one better?

Answer: The instructions were in Chinese and they had to wait for the arrival of a linguist from Beijing who could translate them into English.

"They say Pakistanis are prospecting for oil in Sindh and Punjab. Is that true?'

'Yes. But not to get petrol to run motor cars. Only to grease the palms of politicians and ministers.'