Pal Jokes / Recent Jokes

Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir Officer: Your Father’s Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now.
Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance.. .? Officer: M. P!!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir? Officer: Mental Problems

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning." "What is she doing?", the pal asks." Waiting for me to get home."

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed. ...................+1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
* You leave the toilet seat up.............-5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
* in the snow...............+8
* but return with beer..........-5
* and no more...

A police officer pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign. “May I see your driver’s license and registration please? ” the officer asked.
“What’s the problem, officer? ”
“Your just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection. ”
“Oh, come on pal, there wasn’t a car within miles of me. ”
“Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a full and complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution. ”
“You gotta be kidding me! ”
“It’s no joke, sir. ”
“Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution. ”
“That’s beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a full and complete stop, and you didn’t. Now if I may see your license and registration. ”
“You’ve got a lot of time on your hands, PAL! What’s the matter, all the doughnut shops closed? ”
“Sir, I’ll overlook that last comment. Let me see more...

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here." "You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks. "The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!" "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" "I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties." The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you." As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said' DiMaggio'?"