Palm Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into a palm reader store and asks the reader, "Could you read my palm?" He shows his hand to her, and she says, "But... I cant read your hand.""Why?" the man asks."I dont understand your handwriting," the woman replies.

Bill Gates died in an automible accident. When he was taken up to meet "Him", He told Bill "Bill, you have done alot of things for this world, you changed the way technology works. You were a great man so I am going to let you chose where you want to go Heaven or Hell." Bill said, "Can I see them first?" So bill went and saw what Hell looked like, 'It had a beach, palm trees, it was beautiful, sunny, there were rivers, to say the least it was beautiful. Bill was shocked, if this was hell then what did Heaven look like. So he went and checked it out. In heaven there were angels playing harps and it was relaxing. After thinking on it he decided to go to hell, so he got his wish! About a week later"He" went to check up on Bill, when He came, Bill yelled, "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BEAUTIFUL BEACHES AND THE PALM TREES AND THE RIVERS. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUN. AFTER YOU DROPPED ME OFF ALL OF THE BEAUTIFUL THNGS DISAPPERED AND THESE LITTLE CREAUTRES more...

A scientist gets on a train to go to New York. His cabin also has a poor farmer in it. To pass the time the scientist decides to play a game with the guy.
"I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong, you have to pay me 1 dollar. Then you ask me a question, and if I get it wrong, you get 10 dollars. You ask me a question first." The farmer thinks for a while.
"I know. What has three legs, takes 10 hours to climb up a palm tree, and 10 seconds to get back down?" The scientist is confused and thinks long and hard about the question. Finally, the train ride is coming to an end. As it pulls into the station, the scientist takes out 10 dollars and gives it to the farmer.
"I don't know. What has 3 legs, takes 10 hours to get up a palm tree and 10 seconds to get back down?" The farmer takes the 10 dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out 1 dollar and hands it to the scientist.
"I don't know."

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when hedecided to stop and sit at a Palm Readers table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, Ican read your love line and tell your romantic future."Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at hisopen palm and said, "I can see that you have nogirlfriend.""Thats true," said Paul."Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, arent you?""Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "Thats amazing. Canyou tell all of this from my love line?""Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters."

Little Johnny had the flu and wasn't able to attend the Palm Sunday church service with his family.
When they returned home from the service, they were carrying palm branches. "What are those?" Little Johnny asked his mother.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his mother explained.
"Well, doesn't that just figure," grumbled Little Johnny. "The one Sunday I can't go to church, and Jesus shows up!"

Palm Springs: It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.(Dumb Laws - California)

A guy was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a palm reader's table.

The mysterious old woman said, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

He readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," he said.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," he shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses."