Papa Jokes / Recent Jokes

Reema: " Papa, I have saved your money this year."
Papa: " Reema how did you save my money? "
Reema: " I failed in all the subjects so you don't have to buy books for me "

Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating -- I call it' goofing off'."

These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given in honor of the GM's fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. "No va" means, in Spanish, "No go."1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"2. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious adult magazine.3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa).4. Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese.5. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" more...

A old Jewish man on his deathbed whispered, "Sarah, Sarah, where are you, my dear wife?" "Right here at your side, my love." "And my son, Moishe... where is he?" "Right here at your side, papa." "And my daughter, Mitsy... where is she?" "Right here at your side, papa." "And my son, Abraham... where is he?" "Right here at your side, papa." "What, none of you assholes is minding the store?"

There were three birds - a mama bird, a papa bird and a baby bird.

One day they were trying to figure out which way to fly for the winter.

Mama bird says "My instincts tell me to fly south for the winter."

Papa bird says "Well, my instincts tell me to fly north for the winter."

Then baby bird says "Well, my ins stinks too, but they don't tell me where to go!"

~*princess*~

LH741:"Tower, give me a rough timecheck!"
Tower: "It's tuesday, Sir."

Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR!

Tower: Shamu Two Two, please state estimated time of arrival.
Pilot: Ok, let's see..., I think Tuesday would be nice...

Pilot: "Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo estabished ILS16."
Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo, Guten Tag, cleared to land 16, wind calm and by the way: this is Wien Tower."
Pilot: (short break) "Bratislava Tower, Oscar Oscar Kilo passed the outer marker."
Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo roger, and once more: you are approaching Vienna!"
Pilot: (short break again) "Confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?"
Tower: "You can believe me, this is Vienna!
Pilot: (once again short break) "But why? We want to go to Bratislava, not to Vienna!"
Tower: "Oscar more...

...and decided to see what Farmer Smith was making for breakfast. Papa mole stuck his nose out of the burrow and said, "I smell sausages."Mama mole squeezed in beside Papa mole and sniffed the air and said, "I smell pancakes"Baby mole tried to get up to the surface but the other two moles were blocking the way."All I smell," he said sniffing the air, "is molasses."