Papa Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country. The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage." The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes." The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles................ Are you ready for this?: )............ The baby mole said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses!"

My mom is a retired small time criminal. In her defense, she wasn't the worst parent in the world. She raised me well and taught me common sense stuff, like when she taught me to always look both ways before shoplifting. On the weekends, she'd take me with her to Papa Gino's...not for pizza but to meet her pot dealer. To this day, whenever a friend suggests having lunch at Papa Gino's I scream "You're just trying to score a nickelbag...and you're not gonna get any pizza...I'm hungry...I wanna go home!!"

Once there was this little Italian boy in the fields with his father. Looking at his dad's hands, the boy says, "Papa, you do many things with your hands, tell me about your fingers."
"Wella Tony," Papa said, "You see this first finger? You use this one to point to where ever you want to. You see your thumb? You use it to turn pages in a book, and your ring finger, you will use when you get married, and your little finger, you use to pick your nose. And the middle finger, well, I'll tell you about that one when you get married."
Little Tony was satisfied with that and time passed. It was now Tony's wedding day. It was a beautiful wedding and just before he was leaving with his bride, Tony went to have a talk with Papa.
Tony said, "Papa, many years ago you told me to use this finger to point at what I want, to turn pages with my thumb, to pick my nose with this little one, and to put my wedding ring on this one, but, Papa, what is it that more...

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last minute Internet shopping.

The stockings were hung by the modem with care
In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads.

PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
To

A first grade teacher in the conservative Midwest is explaining to her class that she is a Republican and how nice it is that a new Republican president has taken office. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Republicans and support George Bush.
Everyone in class raises their hands except one little girl. "Mary," says the teacher with surprise, "why didn't you raise your hand?" Because I'm not a Republican," says Mary. "Well, what are you?" asks the teacher. "I'm a Democrat and proud of it," replies the little girl.
The teacher cannot believe her ears. "My goodness, Mary, why are you a Democrat?" she asks. "Well, my momma and papa are Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too."
"Well," says the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents. What if your momma was a criminal and your papa was a criminal, too, more...

A first grade teacher in the Midwest is explaining to her class that
she is a Republican and how nice it is that a new Republican president
has taken office. She asks her students to raise their hands if they,
too, are Republicans and support George Bush. Everyone in class raises
their hands except one little girl.
"Mary," says the teacher with surprise, "why didn't you raise your
hand?"
"Because I'm not a Republican," says Mary.
"Well, what are you then?" asks the teacher.
"I'm a Democrat and proud of it," replies the little girl.
The teacher cannot believe her ears. "My goodness, Mary, why are you a
Democrat?" she asks.
"Well, my momma and papa are Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too."
"Well," says the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you
to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents. What
if your momma was more...

Baap beti se: Pehle tum mujh ko papa kahte the ab dady kuyn kahte hoo, Kiya wajah hia? Beti: Papa kehne se lipstick jo kharab hoo jate hai!