Parachute Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a military training camp some recruits get educated in parachuting. After some weeks of training on the ground they have to do their first jump.
Before the jump the instructor recalls, "You leave the air plane, count till three and pull the cord. The parachute should open then. If it does not, pull the emergency cord. Then the emergency parachute will open. On the ground there is a lorry waiting. We will meet on the lorry again. Good luck!"
The first recruit jumps, counts till three and pulls the cord. Nothing happens. He pulls the emergency cord. Nothing happens. The recruit is not surprised and says, "As far as I know the army, I bet the lorry will not be there, either."

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out. The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." He also grabbed a parachute and jumped. The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace." The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my more...

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the more...

A Catholic priest, a Boy Scout leader and a lawyer take some boys out on an adventure trip. On the flight over, there is engine trouble and the plane is about to go down.

"We have a problem", says the pilot. "There are only three parachutes!"

The Boy Scout leader suggests they give them to the boys.

"Screw the boys," shouts the lawyer.

"Is there time?" asks the priest.

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out. The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the more...

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, "This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.

Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here." Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.

The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only more...

At the height of the second world war, the combatants decided to try and resolve thier differences. Negotiators from America, Germany, Britain and France where put on a plane and were told to find a solution to the war. One negotiator represented each country. As the plane was flying over the ocean the pilot reprted that due to mechanical problems the passengers will have to bale out. They also found that there was only one parachute aboard. The American said"if roosevelt was here what would he do, he will sacrifice his life for his fellow man" and jumped to his death. The Britisher said"if Churchill is here he will sacrifice his life for his fellow man " and he too jumped without the parachute. After seeing this the German said"if Hitler was here, whatwould he do?. He threw the frenchman out of the plane.