Paradise Jokes / Recent Jokes
This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a more...
The Eastern European art of the political joke is in abeyance
in Poland right now, because what previously had to be veiled
can be, and is, said out loud. However, in the GDR and in Romania
freedom of speech hasn't broken ground yet.
A young member of the German communist party went to his senior comrade
with a strange request: he wanted permission from the Party to emigrate
to West Germany. (It is only with the permission of the Party that
people are allowed to leave East Germany. Often it is ''granted'' as
a method of eliminating people with inappropriate attitudes.)
''For what reasons could you possibly want to leave the Socialist
paradise, young comrade?''
''Well, sir, I have a main reason, and
a kind of side reason. The side reason is this: I know our Party
has established a paradise here in the Democratic Republic, but the
reason I want to leave is that I am very afraid that is will not last.''
''Don't worry, son! It more...
A young member of the German communist party went to his senior comrade with a strange request: he wanted permission from the Party to emigrate to West Germany. (It is only with the permission of the Party that people are allowed to leave East Germany. Often it is "granted'' as a method of eliminating people with inappropriate attitudes.)
"For what reasons could you possibly want to leave the Socialist paradise, young comrade?"
"Well, sir, I have a main reason, and a kind of side reason. The side reason is this: I know our Party has established a paradise here in the Democratic Republic, but the reason I want to leave is that I am very afraid that it will not last."
"Don't worry, son! It will last for ever."
"Well, good, sir: but that brings me to my main reason...."
More examples of creativity provided by a 6th grade class during history tests:
1. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic
pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. 2. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 3. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin
were to 2 singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and
declared, "a horse divided against itself can not stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. 4. Abraham Lincoln was more...
There was this guy who wanted to find out how to go to paradise. He asked around and found out if he went up this great mountain there will be a priest there who would tell him the magic words to go to paradise.
He immediately prepared for his journey. For 40 days and 40 nights he climbed the great mountain. Finally he reached the top and found the priest. He asked the priest what are the magic words to go to paradise. The priest replied because you went through so much trouble to find out I will tell you, the words are " ISTA LUCKADY LAA LAA SUNTHARI KORA KOPPARA KOYYAH!!! Then the priest warned the guy not to tell anyone else the magic words. For if he does, the other person would go to paradise and he wont.
With this in mind he went to his hometown and called all the men. He told them, he knows the magic words to go to paradise. He told them that it's "ISTA LACKADY LAA LAA SUNTHARI KORA KOPPARA KOYYAH!!!" They said it and everyone except him went to more...
Two lawyers and their boss go out for lunch and run into a genie.
“If you all give me five dollars each, I’ll grant you one wish. ” The genie sighed.
All three lawyers debated and gave the genie fifteen dollars total. The first one goes, “I would like to go to Paradise and never come back. ” He was gone.
“Wow, that was some serious shit, ” said the other two.
The second lawyer goes and wishes for a beautiful wife and unlimited money in Paradise.
The boss looks at his watch and says to the genie, “I want them both back by 3: 30. ”
A CAB driver was taking a rather ill-tempered American visitor along a dusty, bumpy road. Suddenly a beautiful bird with a long white tail flew across the road. "That's a bird of paradise!' exclaimed the cab driver very excitedly.
'He's a long way from home, isn't he?' the American remarked acidly.