Parent Jokes / Recent Jokes
Father: Dont you think our son gets his brains from me? Mother: Probably, dear. I still have all of mine.
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, Im making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I cant stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then youll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I cant stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you dont like factories and wont work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven oclock." She said, "But Father, Im no longer a child!" He said, "I know, thats why I want you home by eleven."
The First Parent
by Bill Cosby
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids.
After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."
"Don't what?", Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?"
"It's over there," said God, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and He was angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?"
"I dunno," Adam answered.
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their more...
Father: " I know the answer to your bad grades. Youre spending too much time watching television." Son: " Im sorry, youll have to phrase that in the form of a question."
Down at the office Bostwick boasted to one of his buddies,"My son Arthur is smarter even than Abraham Lincoln. Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten years old. Lincoln didnt say it till he was fifty!"
Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a. m.. Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England.